The house of bullets
by MoonIce
Summary: A paintball game goes wrong and cause a little mischif to go on in the Urahada shop


**The House of Bullets**

**By Moonice**

Genre: Comedy/ little smut

Characters: Ichigo, KisukexYoruichi, Soi-fon, Toshiro, Komamura, Byakuya, Renji, and other characters

Rating:T

Summary: A paintball game is seriously messed up when one little mistake of buying militaries weapons instead of paintball guns make a big mess of trouble for the whole group

I got the idea for my second story from a **_"Family Guy"_** episode where Joe get pistols instead of paintball guns for Peter's game night. I also decided to add Sanjin Komamura captain of squad 7 because I pity the fact that he is the least mentioned captain in the whole Bleach series even though he had the same problems that Izuru, Momo, Rangiku, Toshiro and Hisaji had when the three rouge captains left. I me in my opinion Captain Komamura has a pretty sweet bankai. I'll just try to keep my author's notes short and introduce my latest story

**The House of Bullets**

In the Urahada shop three annoyed captains said together, "WHY THE HELL ARE WE HERE!" Because you guys have been cooped up in you offices for so long that you probably forgot what the sun looks like. Kisuke lazily replied. It's not all that bad. I mean even if this place is a little crappy we can still enjoy the wonders of the real world. Soi-fon protested. Yeah right! The only reason your saying that is because Yoruichi's here. Toshiro said back. And if I know Iba he probably will get subduced by Rangiku and burn down my office building again. Komamura added. When it come's to the well being of my family fortune I can't trust Rukia to hold on to one check without her spending it on something stupid like gasoline as Komamura clearly pointed out. To top it all off if it weren't for Matsumoto and her gang of dumbasses burning down Yamamoto's mansion I wouldn't have had to pay a fortune to repair it.

Chill out dudes. Ichigo calmly said. Sometimes things happen and you just gotta go through it. Renji added on with an even calmer tone than Ichigo. Is Kurosaki usually like this? Komamura asked. No he's just drunk my fox-faced friend. Kisuke replied. Renji got a bright idea to get Ichigo to come here by getting him drunk but Renji also getting drunk works just as well. Okay now that that question is out of the way once again I must ask Urahada, "Why are we here?!" Byakuya asked. Because we're about to play one of the most enjoyable games ever Kuchki. I highly doubt that but just get on with the explaination of this so called entertaining game of yours.

Well since it is in such demand I guess I can't make you captains, lieutenants and drunk subtitites waiting any longer. The game we're going to play is called paintball. Kisuke announced. PAINTBALL! The captains and Yoruichi shouted in surprise. Is that another one of your erotic games that you try to make me play Kisuke! Yoruichi asked. Your tried to make my idol play an erotic game you bastard? Soi-Fon asked angryly. No calm down it's not an erotic game(But I wish it as due to the fact that I could see you to sexy ladies strip right in front of me.) it's a game in which you shoot guns with paintball ammunition in them. The goal of the game is to avoid getting hit and get the most shots in before the time limit is up. This sounds stupid Kisuke! Soi-Fon yelled. I would have rather spent my time with Hitsugaya's alcoholic lieutenant along with her friends having a seemingly normal gilrls night out than with you douchebags.

Who are you calling a douchebag you bitch?! Komamura barked back. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME YOU BASTARD?! I will kick your sorry ass right now. Well bring it! I don't care if you are a girl I will still beat the soul reaper out of you anytime of the night. Komamura and Soi-Fon continued to argue until Yoruichi and Kisuke broke it up. Why are you guys wasting your energy on simple insults. Kisuke asked. And I know that you have more self control that that Soi-Fon. Yoruichi asked. But that mutface started it. And that skinny bitch goated me on. Both Soi-Fon and Komamura complained. I don't care who started what the important thing is that we have some old fasion fun tonight. Kisuke concluded. Now if you would be so kind as to go in to my special training room and wait there while I get the paintball guns and ammunition.

Later Kisuke pulled out two large boxes that were labeled "Paintball Guns". These are what we will be playing with everyone now please put on one of the gogles, bulletproof vests and grab a paintball gun of you choice. Are you sure these are the right guns Urahada. Toshiro asked while pulling out a shotgun shaped paintball gun. Yeah these look like odd object to shoot out paintballs in. Byakuya added while pulling out a gun that looked like a sniper rifle. This is just not looking right Urahada. Soi-Fon remarked while pulling out two sub-machine gun looking paintball guns. Despite there odd shapes they are indeed paintball guns even though each of the guns you've selected has diffrent ammunition and different ways to shoot them. Kisuke assured somewhat. Now before we play there is somethig that I must do. Kisuke then began to burn some herbs and ave them in front of Ichigo and Renji waking them up from their drunk comas. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE?! Ichigo shouted. Why the hell are you yelling Ichigo? Renji asked trying not to make an outburst.

So the two drunks have finally awakened. Byakuya said. Well it's about time I really want to get this paintball game over with. Komamura replied. Why the hell are you all carrying guns? Ichigo asked. Because we're about to play a paintball game. Kisuke replied. Now get your gogles, vest guns and get with the program. Ichigo still buzzed from the amount of sake he drank to argue, went with the red headed lieutenant and got his set of double pistol paint ball guns along with Renji's grenade set of paintballs. Now before I set the timer and begin the three hour game there are some thigs that I must cover. Kisuke announced. In order to shoot any of the guns you must first read the instrctions that are on the tags. Also if your gun runs out of ammo and you don't have any rounds you can go to the crate and get a new set of guns and ammo although your gong to want to be quick. Last but not least if you haven't done so already please step outside you gigai.

After all the soul reaper captains stepped out their gigais and removed their zanpakuto they regrabbed their guns and waited for futhur intructions. Is their any other annoying thing that we have to do before we can get this game over with. Renji asked. Okay if your in such a hurry to loose Kisuke mocked. Alright are you guys ready, get set, and GO! As soon as that was said Ichigo shot one of his pistols at Soi-Fon's leg and it began to bleed almost immediatedly.OWWWW!!!!! What the hell Ichigo. Soi-Fon screamed. I thought these were paintball guns Kisuke. Ichigo said. Oh yeah about that I lied. These as you can see aren't paintball guns. Then what are they? Komamura asked with concern. I'm glad you asked. Kisuke then pealed off the part of the box that said "Paintball Guns" and revealed a label that real "U.S Military Supplies."

What the hell? Are you telling us those are actually real gun. Ichigo stated. Yes and since the game is still on I guess you'd better not get hit. Kisuke replied. A challenge indeed. Byakuya stated. So if we get hit it causes actual pain, this has just started to get interesting. Toshiro said while loading up his shotgun. I'm getting my payback Kurosaki for that cheap shot. Soi-Fon sneared. Lets do it. Yoruichi said. As all of the soul reapers loaded their gns they began to shoot wildly at each other. While they were somewhat trying to kill each other they had to adnit they were having fun.

BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAMBLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!MBLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!

BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BLOSH! BLOSH! BLOSH!BLOSH!BLOSH!BLOSH!BLOSH!BLOSH!BLOSH!BLOSH!BLOSH!BLOSH!BLOSH!

The night continued on with this pretty much. Byakuya blew Renji's back out with his sniper rifle. Toshiro blasted Ichigo with his shotgun. Soi-Fon filled Kisuke up with lead with her sub machine guns. Yoruichi was shooting wildly with an actual machine gun. But everyone had to occasionaly run when Komamura either began shooting his heavy duty tank gun or fired his rocket launcer. Despite being covered in blood and having to dodge every fatal shot Kisuke managed to get these bored soul reapers to have a good time for once in their lives instead of doing boring paperwork and babysitting their subordinates. Yes this little lie of Urahada's in a way did more good than harm.(emotionally)

Alright I think we have a winner. And that winner is Komamura due to the fact that he got the, most shots. still has bullets and no one will make an atempt to hit him. Kisuke announced. Congrats. That was fun. Toshiro said while patching up his wounds. Yeah this wasn't the worst time of my life even though I still would have rather been at the club with the girls. Soi-Fon added. I would go up for another round if I didn't have to go pick up Orihime and Rukia from the club. Come to think of it I should be going back to the soul society before Iba or any other of my subordinates burns something down again. Alright lets go pick up my dumbass lieutenant from the club before she gives me another bill. Toshiro said.

With that Komamura opened the gate to the soul society and he along with Soi-Fon went in. Ichigo, Byakuya, Renji, and Toshiro went outside to get in two newly bought Mercades Benzs by Byakuya himself. Once everyone cleared out. Kisuke closed the door and looked at Yoruichi with a perverted smile. You know Yoruichi now that everyone is gone we can play a game that really is fun. Kisuke said as he began to take his clothes of. Are you sure you can handle all of this in your condition. Yoruichi said while also stripping. I can manage old friend. Thus began the doing dirty of the couple after the shootout.

Meanwhile at the former midnight club this is what happened. MATSUMOTO! Explain this bill. Toshiro angrily demanded. Captain it's just a regular bill chill out man. This isn't just a bill Rangiku. Both byakuya and I not only have to pay for your drinking tabs but also have to pay for the destruction of the club. The fire looks pretty to me Ichigo. Orihime said trying to keep her balance. Your all drunk aren't you. Yep! Rukia replied. Just get in the car. Renji said. Okaaaaay! Tatsuki lazily said. As the girls got into one of the cars Toshiro and Byakuya had to both write a 1,000,000,000 checks. to the manager.Lets go you drunks. Renji ordered. With that the eight left the burning club and went home.

End

A/N: This was a little experiment of mine that in my opinion went wrong in the ending. Please review


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